Hey. Ah, this is a bad thing for dog(-people). I don’t think they should eat this. Oh, maybe have a little of this, for fun. Oh, you’d eat anything; you don’t care. Here, Hap. Goody, you want some? Here, baby. Here. Here Goody. You like that? I don’t believe it. He spat it out. I knew you wouldn’t like it. Goody. He eats more healthy food. Here, Benny. You want to have fun? Go. Oh, everybody likes... Like coconut confetti.
Here, guys. Oh, man. Did you clean their teeth already? Already cleaned teeth, or today didn’t clean teeth? (Yes, already clean, Master.) Already cleaned teeth? And you eat this junk? Never mind. Enjoy a little bit. Life is short, especially dog(-people)’s life. Here, Goody. That’s why you agreed to come here, because life is shorter for you. You don’t care, a few years. Come here baby, Goody. Wow, wow, wow. Lucky, you really like it baby? No, you didn’t, you spat it out, you see? Can you eat it? Oh, no. Alright, just for fun. Don’t eat too much of this junk, baby. Junk food. It’s a New Year, so I let you eat, but it’s just junk food. Junk, junk, junk, junk.
Today is the 5th? What? The 3rd? (The 3rd.) Still (Lunar) New Year, no? Oh, very important New Year’s Day. This is supposed to be a Teacher’s Day. Visit your teacher, give gifts, and express your gratitude. In Âu Lạc (Vietnam) is like that. And it’s the Teacher’s Day, so I invite you here to express my gratitude to you, as a Teacher. Teacher’s Day, I have to express my gratitude to the students. Here, come here. I forgot this is the 3rd day. I don’t really care what day. But it’s good to have a little day. Oh, what is all that, all foggy?
Hey, you had enough. This Aulacese (Vietnamese) stuff, oh, so sweet, and they love it, some of them. Just because it’s fun, yes. You don’t have them on the Fifth Plane, do you? You don’t eat this junk. You came down just for junk? Yeah? Came down here just for junk food? We don’t have them on the Higher Plane. Rare, huh? It’s rare. We don’t have coconut junk on any Plane. Say, the Astral Plane maybe.
Good, good, good. Enough, enough. Oh, they love this junk. I wonder why. I wonder why. Especially Hermit, you eat too much, you know that? You eat too much. Here Hap, big one. Where’s Goody? Goody! (Over here.) What’s he doing? OK, OK, chasing shadows. Meditate on them. He says he’s bored, he needs to occupy himself like that. Otherwise, time passes slowly on this planet for him. He’s not used to it. It’s a first time he came down. Any of the dog(-people) planets are better than this planet. You’ll never know. You’ll never know why we came here. We have to. Oh Happy, I love you. Hermit, go somewhere else, baby. I don’t know. There’s a lot of good stuff but it’s not for you guys, so…
I think I have… I think I have read some of this for you already, or not? Have you ever seen this book? No? I haven’t (read this for you)? OK. (No.) OK then. This here, this is my joke, my own joke, original joke. It says... “An employee goes to report to the boss’s office. He’s a salesman. The boss says, ‘Hey, how is it going? How is it going with your selling?’ He says, ‘Oh, good, good. Almost 50% of people bought our stuff.’ He says, ‘Yeah? How many people were there?’ He says, ‘Two.’ ‘Huh? But you said 50%?’ He says, ‘Yeah.’ He says, ‘Almost 50%? How can that be?’ He says, ‘Yeah. One of them almost bought our stuff.’” “How many?” “Two of them!”
Goody, baby. Alright. Come on, that’s enough for you. Don’t get fat, lady. Sugar isn’t good for you that much. Don’t look at me again. Anyway, I just want to make sure. I don’t know if I told you many of these jokes already or not. Well, maybe we start somewhere. OK. (Happy, no. No, Happy.) Happy, no!
“A pre-med student was taking a difficult class in physics. One day, the professor was going on and on discussing a particular complicated concept. The student was frustrated and didn’t understand, and he yelled, ‘Why do we have to learn all this stuff?’ And the professor said, ‘To save lives.’ And a few minutes later, the same student flared [up] again, ‘How can this stupid stuff possibly save lives?’ So…” You got the joke already, right? You know the joke? (No, I haven’t.) No? Why did you laugh? “And the professor said, ‘Yeah, because it keeps those idiots like you out of medical school.’” (Happy.) So, he saved the patients’ lives. Happy! Here. Alright, you guys.
“There was an airplane, a jetliner. They were taxiing down the tarmac ready to take off, but then they abruptly stopped and then returned to the gate. And after about an hour, they took off again. And so, a passenger was kind of worried and asked the flight attendant, ‘What’s the matter? What happened?’ And the attendant said, ‘The pilot was very disturbed by a noise he heard in the engine.’ So, the passenger said, ‘And so?’ She said, ‘Yeah, so it took us an hour to find another pilot.’” He didn’t want to fly, so [they] just took another pilot. Same problem with you guys. I tell you “Fix it.” You find something else, instead of fixing it.
That’s called “Blind date.” “An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old widower man. So, when she returned to the daughter’s house late, she seemed not very happy, upset. So, the daughter asked, ‘What happened, Mom?’ ‘Oh, not much. I had to slap him three times.’ ‘Oh, he was getting fresh with you?’ The mother said, ‘No, no, I thought he was dead.’”
“A college student took his new girlfriend to a football game, and they sat in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. And a substitute was called to be put into the game, and he was running out to the field to take his position. And the college boy said to his girlfriend, ‘Look, look. Hey, take a good look at him. I expect him to be our best man next year.’ So, the girlfriend was all smiling and snuggling and said, ‘Oh, that’s the strangest way I ever heard for a fellow to propose to a girl. No matter, I accept it.’” (Poor soul.) You got it? (Yes.)
I think I told you this joke. “A couple was walking in the park, and they had seen a young man and young woman sitting on a bench and kissing each other. So the wife, kind of shy, but said to her husband, ‘Honey, why don’t you do that?’ And the husband said, ‘Why? I don’t know that woman.’”
“A grandmother gave a birthday gift to her grandson, and it’s a water pistol. And he was squeezing and squashing everywhere, splashing all over, and the mother was very, very disturbed. So she looked sternly at her own mother, the grandmother: ‘I’m surprised at you, mother.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?’ She said, ‘Yes, dear, I remember.’” “I remember.” You know what it means, right? Sweet revenge is always better than me. I’m always scolding, remonstrating you instead. Sweet revenge next time.
“An elderly man and an elderly woman were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said yes. Then the next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was.” You know old man. “‘Was she happy? I think so. No, she looked at me so funny.’ And after an hour of trying to remember, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. So, the man was embarrassed and admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal, whether was yes or no. She said, ‘Oh yes, I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying yes to somebody, but I couldn’t remember who it was.’”
“A couple returned to their old-time romantic honeymoon suite for their 50th anniversary. And that night when they started to retire for the evening, the woman noticed tears running down her husband’s cheeks. And so she came and kissed him and said, ‘Oh honey, I had no idea that you were so sentimental.’ And he replied, ‘Oh, I was just thinking about the night that your father caught us fooling around down at the barn. I remember him saying that if I didn’t marry you, he would see that I’d spend 50 years in jail. And I was just thinking that today I would be a free man.’” “If.” You know.
Photo Caption: Be Beautiful till the End!
