Hallo. Fellow initiates. Look over here. I feel so tired today. What about you? Don’t you feel anything? Will you be too tired? (No.) Cool. Why am I feeling so tired? Perhaps because it’s too hot, right? (It’s supposed to rain today but it didn’t. It’s stuffy, because it didn’t rain.) (It’s kind of stuffy today.) Weather forecast said there would be heavy thunder storm, but it didn’t happen.) Heavy thunderstorm didn’t… (It didn’t happen.) No thunder. Are those responsible contact persons here? (Yes.) Are they all here? Is everyone here, or some of them are not here? Is there anyone down there? (It seems only a few of them.) Only a few didn’t come up. (Only a few of them didn’t come up. Yes.)
I thank you, by the way, for supporting refugees recently. I haven’t accepted your money yet. I’ll accept it for them. But your passion to sacrifice for others touched me very much. I understand you help others not for gaining blessed rewards. Right? (Yes.) Because you know already that you don’t need that. (Yes.) In that way, it’s even more meaningful to help others. It’s real, genuine help. Otherwise, if you do it like common people, giving charity to gain blessed rewards, then it’s not good.
We’ve just heard those stories that the Buddha told us. They’re mostly about giving in order to get merits. Isn’t it so? I also felt kind of surprised. Why did the Buddhas in the old time all emphasized giving in order to… gain blessings? Isn’t that like doing business? We work hard outside to make money, for the sake of earning interest. Then, what’s the difference between spiritual practitioners and business people? Don’t you think so? (Yes.) Therefore, I don’t quite agree with this kind of business in spiritual practice. If we do business in the world, it’s because we have no choice. If we don’t do business, then we have to rely on others to live. If we rely on others, it undermines our independence, and thus develop the inclination to rely on others. Therefore, we shouldn’t do that. We do business only because we have no choice.
When we do business of course we want to succeed. It’s not like we have excess time and money to go into business just to fail. First, failing means losing money, having nothing left, and it also makes us lose face, hurts our self-esteem. And also we lose our reputation for keeping our word. So when we do business, of course we must succeed, and do it boldly and with full vigor. It’s the same with everything we do. Since we’re already going to do it, we should do it well. That’s why people in the world have to work hard in business, because they have no choice. If not, we ourselves and our families all will be hurt. Our society would also be harmed. If all people don’t do business, then the country won’t be prosperous. Not rich and strong. Then our families will have nothing to rely on, and have to go out and become beggars. That’s the reason we should do business.
But as spiritual practitioners, if we’re still greedy for material rewards, giving donations in order to get rewards, then I think we’re even worse than businesspeople; we’re inferior to them. Because businesspeople are obliged to do business out of necessity, out of responsibility to society, to take care of themselves and their families, to help their country and our world. That’s why they do it. They have their reasons. As spiritual practitioners, if we’re still greedy for merits, for blessed rewards, giving donations just to gain blessings within the Three Worlds; giving only a little, a few dollars, and then asking for a lot in return. Hearing those Buddhas advertise that by giving one piece of gold you will enjoy blessed rewards for 91 kalpas, who can resist that? But, as spiritual practitioners, if we fall in that kind of trap, it wouldn’t be good. Then we cannot reach the state of “complete detachment from worldly temptations.
I’ve told you many times. Though you appear to be laypeople, spiritually you should be like renunciates. Only then can you be regarded as a true spiritual practitioner. What does “renunciate” mean? It means a person who is not attached to worldly merits, not attached to reputation, not attached to worldly possessions, nor to any personal benefits. He does what he has to, what he should do – just because it’s right. Only then can he be called a renunciate. Otherwise, if we say silly things such as: renunciates don’t do anything, just shaving their heads and wearing ragged robes, like what beggars wear, then judging by that, most renunciates wouldn’t really look like renunciates at all. If everyone were doing that – shaving their heads and wearing clothes like that, just going around all shiny, and reciting mantras all day, what will happen to society? If those who don’t practice spiritually come to us, what should we do? You do business, and so do others in the world. You have your own responsibilities. Even if we’ve become renunciates, we still have our responsibilities. Isn’t it the same? It’s just that everyone does different jobs.
Therefore, we shouldn’t be attached to outward appearances, thinking that only renunciates should be a certain way, and that lay people should not. “Renunciate” or “layperson” depends on your own heart. Depends on what you do. If what you do benefits or brings merits to others, then you’re a renunciate. What you wear is not important. That’s why lately I don’t want to wear the nun’s clothes. Do you understand the logic? (Yes.) (Understand.)
Because the renunciate is not the clothes outside. Nothing belongs to the renunciates. Because our own Master inside has never renounced the world. It has never violated any precepts, it has never done anything wrong. So, what’s the need to renounce the world and keep precepts? Why bother doing anything at all? After understanding this, any outside forms have nothing to do with us. We are not this body even. So who is there to renounce the world? We come and go every day, entering this body and going out of the body as we wish. This body is just like a “toilet” for us, excuse me. We enter it when we need to, and leave when we’re done. So why would we shave the toilet? And put a monk’s robe on it? And then think that’s what “renouncing the world” really is? Understand what I mean? (Understand.) A toilet is a toilet. No matter how you decorate it, it serves only that purpose. And so, I don’t want to be deceived. Most worldly people don’t understand, and are deceived by those things, bound very tightly.
I was bound like that before too. That’s why I wanted to renounce the world. I wanted to renounce the world even before I got married. Luckily, I was obstructed for two years by my husband. Buddhas and Bodhisattvas sent him to obstruct me. I only became a renunciate later. But the delay has its advantage. Otherwise, I would have renounced the world two years earlier. Then I wouldn’t have had the chance to get married. If unmarried, I would have become a nun and stayed in a temple taking care of the seats. And then “Ko-ko-kiang-kiang” (knocking on the wooden block) all day long like that. And then helping the abbot build the temple, going out to beg for alms, and reciting things from the sutras, but knowing nothing. And then you would not be here today. I wouldn’t have met you today, or taken on this responsibility, doing this work. Most renunciates, after becoming a monk or nun, cannot even go to other temples. Do you know this or not? There’s no “running around” between temples. Your temple abbot would not allow you to go anywhere freely, and you have many sutras to study in the temple, reciting the Shurangama Mantra, the “Great Compassion” mantra, and all kinds of mantras. Lots of sutras are there waiting for you to study, busy only with those material aspects. You’re so busy, too busy to go out.
Only after I got married did I have the chance to meet someone, who told me about great Masters in the Himalayas, things I had never heard before. Before, I only heard about Amitābha Buddha, and every day knocking the wooden block, bowing to this and that statue. That’s all I did. Had I become a renunciate earlier, it would have been worse. Because after meeting my husband, and getting married with him, I did many things and got to know a lot of people, who didn’t go to temples, who were so-called enlightened. This person told me some other things, about other paths that I could take. Otherwise, after ordination, you get stuck there, busy with temple duties, laying bricks one after another – what’s the use? Then I wouldn’t be here today. I wouldn’t have come to Taiwan (Formosa), I wouldn’t have done these things and met you. I wouldn’t have met an enlightened Master and become enlightened. Maybe only a little bit, not much.
But maybe my fate was not to be a nun. So you see, that’s the good part. Sometimes, we think something is not good; for my masters back then, my getting married was seen as not good. She had already prepared the clothes, the nun’s cassock, for me to be ordained. Every master competed to make me their disciple. Then I suddenly got married. They were all very disappointed, thinking that I couldn’t escape. But I was prepared in my heart, thinking, “It’s OK. Maybe Heaven has arranged other things for me.” Because, at that time, I suddenly felt that there wasn’t any temple which can accommodate someone like me.
There was one temple, which I wanted to go to, because it seemed like a place where I could learn something. Every day the masters over there taught disciples, and they only ate one meal a day. It sounded very romantic to me. One meal a day – wonderful, wonderful. I was thinking of going there to become a nun. But it turned out they wouldn’t accept me, saying, “Our place isn’t fully built yet.” I said, “It doesn’t matter. I’ll bring my own sleeping bag. I don’t need any special place.” He said, “No, no. As a woman, it’s not appropriate for you to just sleep in the corridor.” I only wanted to sleep in the corridor in a sleeping bag, but he still did not let me. He said, “But after a few months, once the building is finished, then you can come.” Like that. We did arrange it, we did arrange it. And then, some other masters wanted to accept me right away, but I didn’t feel like going there. After looking around, it seemed there was no suitable place.
Later, I thought, “The monastic life is so boring. Every day just knock-knock- knock-knock like that, repeating the morning and evening services, and that’s being a renunciate? So what? If it’s like that, I can do that here too. I am already doing the knock- knock-knock-knock every day. I also do the morning and evening services, then why do I still have to go to a temple?” Maybe after going there, I’d be busy with lots of things. I saw the temples were all busy building temples, doing this and that. I wasn’t sure if I could really do spiritual practice after going there.
Then I went around to ask about the situations inside those temples, and sometimes I heard bad things, including all sorts of struggles, conflicts and things like that. This temple did not get along with that temple, and this master did not get along well with the other one, and everyone was speaking ill of each other. Sometimes they even sued each other. When I heard that, I was shocked. I said, “Oh my!” So I thought, “Enough! Enough!” At that time my husband was chasing after me, and since I had nowhere else to go, I thought, I might as well marry him.
Photo Caption: A Loving Embrace Can Dispel Gloomy Day
